Saturday, 8 November 2014

Bye, Bye Baby

I have now seen my wee nephew 3 times since he was born 15 weeks ago, he is called Jason...and is the happiest baby I have seen. I am very proud of my friend for having him and how well she is doing, yet I can't help but feel a little stab of sadness each time I hold him knowing I might never have a child of my own. I have cried on several occasions and like any girl have picked a name, and almost planned every detail. However I know the idea of me raising a child will only ever be part of my imagination. Yet another downside to having my conditions. I can't even be trusted to stand up with a baby without fitting or falling. I know it is daft that at the age of only 17 I am hurt by the possibility of this but I feel like its part of many peoples life plans. You see we are born, we grow up, we get jobs, we have kids, we look after those kids and then we die....not always in that order but close enough.

So a child is just one more thing "god" or life has denied me. I will still help as best as I can with my wee nephew. If I can't be a mother ever, then I may as well be the best aunt. Dose anyone else ever think about how their condition will effect their future, not their job or their education, but their family? you don't need to respond just think about it. Think about what you can have, or can do....instead of what you can't...

Kind Regards