Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Seeing is Believing

As you know I have a history of seizures, NEAD for short, I had them for a long time and would have fits/episodes daily.

How did it fell? I didn't feel a thing, I would go in and out of a fit, I would get split seconds where I would know something was wrong. I forgot where I was, what I was doing...who was with me...everything.

What did I know? Nothing. When in a episode I was just trying to gain control. This could last for minute's, or hours.  Going in and out of a seizure. I would not know if I was safe, or when it would stop.

I was often told how awful it was to see me go through it, how painful, and shocking it is. However I never knew because when it was over I wouldn't remember...I couldn't. I would know minutes before, sometimes seconds then it was a blur.

Today, I watched my sisters dogs, Dudley suffer what I had to. The look on his face, his inability to move, or stop what was happening.

Tell me, if a seizure is bad for a logical thinking person, what must it be like for an animal?

Of course after it was over he got up and started playing with the other two again, like it never happened...

I wish I could forget like that...but I can't. He can however when it happens he has no idea why. I now understand why people would cry after seeing me.

It is only through control, and hard work I am able to keep mine from happening for now...I wonder, can a dog learn to control it?

I don't know. I doubt it, though it would be nice. I do know I never want to see a animal that scared again.