Saturday, 11 April 2015

Perfectly Perfect


Tall, tanned, thin and blonde.  This is the image of beauty placed in the young girls hands. It is the image stacked high in every toy shop.  Barbie made for children to dress up, create hair styles and pick out the perfect pair of shoes to slip on her perfect tiny plastic feet.  This simple doll was introduced in 1959 and is still influencing youth today.  After all Barbie is what every little girl wants to be and is every guys guide line to the ideal girlfriend, with films like “Weird Science” bringing dolls to life.

So, how does this flawless little doll impact on women in society? On average girls age 3-11 own at least 10 Barbie dolls, setting the idea of the 6ft tall, 110 pound ideal in their easily influenced minds. However can we blame them for accepting this perfect image? After all in our everyday lives we are shown pictures of beautiful women in glossy magazines, we walk into shops and are bombarded with make-up, face masks, fake-tan and hair products galore.  It could be said that in some way you can walk into a shop and buy a whole new you; but do all these products give us confidence or do they create dependency and turn us into life size Barbie’s?
 
An influential statement by Sarah Burge – a modern day Barbie lookalike (UK) sends out the wrong message to our youth, she states; “it’s okay for women to be something they are not”.  This may lead us to ask the question, is inner confidence the same as confidence in one’s appearance?   In  1965 Mattel (the makers of Barbie) introduced their slumber party doll, she came complete with bathroom scales-set to show the weight of 110 pounds- and a book telling children; “don’t eat” if you want to lose weight.  To Mattel’s surprise the sales of their Barbie doll dropped at a “shocking” rate.   As if telling children to diet wasn’t bad enough at the same time they also released a Ken slumber party doll, but instead of adding weight loss tips they sold him with milk and cookies- talk about gender discrimination in the beautiful world of Mattel.

To date there are almost 8 million people in the US suffering from some form of eating disorder and out of that only 10-15% being male.  This not only shows that women are largely affected and more inclined to diet but more importantly that men can be affected too.   In 2013 a “grand” total of 45,365 cosmetic procedures were carried out, only 9.5% were males wanting to make changes.   Sadly this is a small but significant increase from 2012 when the number of male cosmetic enhancements stood  16% lower.   A man named Fred Yeo spent near enough $20,000 this year alone to subject his body to a tummy tuck and his lower back to laser liposculpture.   I would question how long this so called happiness will last? Maybe till he finds a perceived flaw such as a wrinkle or unwanted blemish.  However it is not his fault, according to Darren Tom-age 24- the culprit isn’t Fred Yeo it is in fact society for judging one’s appearance instead of the person within.

However I have to ask, are any of these people truly happy in their fight to become flawless or do they ever think; what if I ate that buttered scone at lunch?  We are now at the point where we need to recognise that 10% of people with anorexia will die because their bodies can’t withstand the battle to become tall, thin and undernourished.  These statistics truly give a whole new meaning to the seemingly harmless metaphor, “if looks could kill”.  The changes women have to make to their body to even come close to that Barbie slim shape not only requires them to have liposuction but also the removal of two sets of ribs.  This in my opinion takes their “war” against normality to a whole new level.

Not only does the issue of body image inflict pressure on people physically it also attacks them mentally with over 5% of people with eating disorders meeting the diagnostic criteria for depression.
 This pressure to be thin is clear with 40-60% of hormonal high school girls already trading their otherwise healthy eating  behaviours,  for this dieting – starving  “craze”.  Society no longer accepts the idea of imperfections making us unique and setting us apart, but rather it is pushing for the cloning similarity of everyone looking the same.

Beauty by definition is; a combination of qualities, such as shape, colour and form that please the aesthetic senses, especially sight.  Beauty can be interpreted in many ways depending on who you are.  However should beauty be restricted to a physical definition rather than encompassing an emotional aspect?

A child as young as 8 years old named Dana (UK) refused to eat more than 175 calories a day, it was so extreme she had to be force fed through an IV and admitted to hospital for 12 weeks on a correctional program, though I don’t see a quick fix for her.   In an attempt to find the root of this needless insecurity a group of researchers specialising in psychological development exposed a number of young girls to 3 different dolls.   After the research was completed they came to a “ground-breaking” conclusion.  They stated that the young girls who viewed the Barbie doll reported lower self-esteem and a stronger need to be thin, this was shocking.    After seeing these results one might say the Barbie is a role model, encouraging the urge for weight loss and the likely hood of developing eating disorders in our youth.

Sadly the issue of reaching the weight of 110 pounds does not just plague the minds of our children but also the minds of adults between 20-30 years old.  One of their goals may be to resemble their favourite role model, the Malibu Barbie.  This has reached an extreme level where  40% of this countries’  9 year olds have dieted; indicating that their dreams are no longer restricted to games in the playground, but are swiftly becoming their unrealistic body image goals in reality.  The dieting doesn’t stop in our local primary school system but is carried on through into higher education with almost 95% of those suffering from uncontrollable eating disorders falling into the range of 12-25 years of age.  75% of the young female population not only have dieted but carry on doing so 2-5 times a year.   This means that there is an astonishing average of 4 out of 5 ten year olds who are afraid of being “fat”.   Author, Kevin Norton says that the “Barbie ideal” is an almost impossible possibility with only 100,000 people in the world who actually meet the Barbie body image; Again proving that these extreme measures taken by so many are still unlikely to achieve their “perfectly perfect” image.

After looking into this controversial topic I have come to the conclusion that, be it Barbie or Ken who inspires us to change, both play a key role in moulding  perceptions of beauty and how “perfection” is seen, not only in the eyes of women but also in the eyes of men.   So no matter if it is in achieving that slim line waist or the bleach blonde hair is Barbie something to aspire too and give to our growing children?  No, it could be said that she is a thing of the past.   After all if a doll of 11.5 inches can have such a huge impact on people of all ages then should we still be selling it? Should Barbie be accompanied by a health warning?   On the other hand society might need this bit of plastic in order to strive for something more.


Kind Regards 

Jordy 


Thursday, 5 February 2015

Well we are now a bit into 2015 and it is looking and feeling a lot like last year. Exams have started and to say I am stressed would be an understatement. Though I guess this year is better than the last, after all I wasn't even in school this time last year. I have had a uni interview and although it didn't go as well as I hoped I still got a chance at it. Jack and I have made it to our two year mark despite everything, It was a sock to me. There was a time I never thought anyone could be with me;let alone put up with me for so long.

This is 2015 and I have a new set of cards to play, do you?


Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Christmas
Its a time full of candy canes and Christmas trees however there is more than just gifts to this time of year. I have spent the last few days cleaning and trying to get the house up to scratch for my family members on Christmas, not that they care clean the house is. This time of year is one of the things that keeps people like me, or like you going every other day of the year. Knowing that at the end of it we get to sit with our family and friends and forget all the pain, the worry and the fear...even just for one day. That day for me is simply a second chance.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Your Friend

Jordy

Sunday, 14 December 2014


Marks

I was sitting in class the other day not long after doing a close reading paper and the teacher was helping people fix their mistakes. And a large number of the students going up for help were finding it hard to describe a scar as anything other than a scar or a mark. This caught my attention and I began to think about how people really see them....are they really just scars, or is there something more?

Now of course I found this easier than most to re-word, after all I have many scars and to me they are far more than a mark on the surface of my skin. A scar is something that lasts forever, there is nothing that can take them away. Yes you can hide them, but trust me, they will still be there. My teacher simply said scars are from trauma of some kind, they are painful, and lasting.

I say, they are memories almost sown into your skin. For me they show the pain, the anger, and even bring back memories of every cruel word said to me over the years. They are my story. I still find myself staring at them and thinking how they look, how people see them...I see all the pain they caused me over the years. However as well as forcing me to remember the bad things, they also help me to see what I have overcome. They remind me to be strong, even though they make me cry some days, not because they hurt but because they are there.

I once thought they would cause me problems. I thought that no one would ever see me as beautiful, and no one would ever love me because of them. I was wrong. Jack, is a lot like me, he tells me he likes my scars because they are a part of me. He says there is no need for me to hide them, or get ride of them with make-up and creams. Now don't get me wrong, I don't always feel the same way, in fact most of the time I hate them for not going away.

But at the end of the day my scars will always be there, and I have to live with that. They are both a strength and a weakness, and I love and hate them. However knowing that if people can look past my scars and still say I am beautiful, then I know they are there to say.

What about you do you love and hate, yet would never really change? Remember no one is alone in the fight...

Kind Regards

Your Friend

Jordy

Sunday, 30 November 2014

Better View

The other night I decided to go for a bath, like everyone dose when stressed of worried. It is a place to think, its quite, warm and nobody can get to you...or at least that's what It was meant to be. I don't know how long I was in there, I don't know how long I was splashing water onto the bathroom floor while struggling to breathe. I do know if my parents had not heard the banging, I would have died.

My dad pulled me out, I could make out the noise of my mum crying, and the worry both their voices. I remember the splashing of water in between fits. The one thing I could think about after was what if I hadn't been found, what would I regret? if anything. Funny thing is I could only think of two things.

1. Not correcting the wrongs. You might be thinking; "She is 17 what could she have done?". The answer I have done enough. I remember being so harsh on a member of my family for her hatred and her own mistakes. How silly it is. 

2. Letting people I care about leave angry. Never let anyone go home upset, or mad at you. After all it might be the last time you see them. It will be how they remember you till the next time you meet.

I want to be one of those people who doesn't die unhappy, or merely content...but blessed. I am 17 years old, and I am no longer scared of dying, nor of living. We should all just live life day by day. Say what we feel and hope for the best. Forgive others for their mistakes and any wrong doings, after all life is to short to hold a grudge.

I want people to ask the questions; what would I regret if I were to die today? and how would I make it right if given the chance?

Kind Regards
Your Friend

Jordy x

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Bye, Bye Baby

I have now seen my wee nephew 3 times since he was born 15 weeks ago, he is called Jason...and is the happiest baby I have seen. I am very proud of my friend for having him and how well she is doing, yet I can't help but feel a little stab of sadness each time I hold him knowing I might never have a child of my own. I have cried on several occasions and like any girl have picked a name, and almost planned every detail. However I know the idea of me raising a child will only ever be part of my imagination. Yet another downside to having my conditions. I can't even be trusted to stand up with a baby without fitting or falling. I know it is daft that at the age of only 17 I am hurt by the possibility of this but I feel like its part of many peoples life plans. You see we are born, we grow up, we get jobs, we have kids, we look after those kids and then we die....not always in that order but close enough.

So a child is just one more thing "god" or life has denied me. I will still help as best as I can with my wee nephew. If I can't be a mother ever, then I may as well be the best aunt. Dose anyone else ever think about how their condition will effect their future, not their job or their education, but their family? you don't need to respond just think about it. Think about what you can have, or can do....instead of what you can't...

Kind Regards 
Jordy  

Thursday, 25 September 2014

I am happy, I have made more friends. I have found a part of the endless puzzle that is my life. I know that It is wrong to expect people to stay. But I don't get called names anymore, I don't get kicked when I am down, instead I get picked back up. I was in the common room once when I had a fit, and 3 of my friends + a random stranger helped me, they didn't have to, I know they didn't, but the fact is they didn't hesitate to help. 
After so many walking away, I had come to expect that of my own age, but now I have my long term friends and I think I am making new ones...I can't help but hope they will stay, we shall see. 

Ask yourself is their anytime in your life you regret not helping another, or a time where nobody helped you...ask yourself why? and if it has changed? because I know it will. 

Kind Regards 
Jordy